
Are You Fully Self-Expressed or Are You Like a Trained
Flea?
Did you know that we, as human beings, are a little bit like
trained fleas?
Do you know about trained fleas? Here is what was
discovered...taking an ordinary jar and placing a bunch of fleas
into it, it was found that the fleas would wildly begin to jump in
all directions, including out of the jar, no matter how high the
sides of the jar. Try it someday if you are curious enough or just
begin to observe yourself in your own life as a bit of a trained
flea.
This could be likened to how we experience the world as
children...with a "YAY!!! LET'S LIVE OUR LIVES FULLY!!! OUCH, I FELL
DOWN AND IT HURT BUT SO WHAT? WHAT'S NEXT??!!" Remember those days
full of vitality, joy and full self-expression?
Back to the jar of fleas; if one takes a lid and puts it on top
of the jar, the fleas will continue to jump up against the lid until
they realize that there is something in the way of their full
self-expression of jumping. Perhaps their little heads begin to
hurt, and they actually start to scale back slowly until they begin
to regularly jump to just below the level of the lid.
At this point, it was found that one could remove the lid of the
jar and the fleas would still only jump to those few millimeters
below where the lid had been. The fleas were now trained and would
not jump out of the jar.
What if...
Looking back into
our own lives, we ask ourselves where we have been trained. Where
might we have scaled back for the fear of hurting our 'heads'
on a lid? This may be a situation that was real or imagined. Perhaps
the lesson was well worth learning such as touching a hot stove was
a bad mistake.
However, where might a lid might have been placed on your full
self-expression that was for the convenience of another and not
specifically for you. For example, rather than focus on what
would happen to you, a caretaker was more fearful of what
could happen. Or perhaps we made a mistake in one situation
and automatically trained ourselves that we could never attempt that
type of situation again.
We might begin to ask ourselves, where have we suppressed our own
and others' full self- expression such that we have become
trained fleas in our lives and accepted "this is the way it
is" regardless of a different time, a different place, a
different situation...?
Consider that...
We may not
even realize the extent of how we are similar to trained fleas. When
an opportunity presents itself to us, we may automatically answer
with an "I could never do that," or "I don't like those," or "Oh,
that's not for me," or even an answer such as "Are you kidding?"
Consider how we may be so automatic that we are not even aware of
having been trained. What would happen if with each opportunity we
stopped our automatic way-of-being and really put some thought into
what was being presented to us before we responded?
Observation/Exercise
The
holidays are approaching quickly and many of us will have the
opportunity to share time with family. This is perfect fertile
territory for beginning to observe ourselves as the observer in our
automatic 'trained fleas' way-of-being in life.
The first step to altering a way-of-being is to learn to observe
you in your own life. In the next month, begin to observe your
conversations to yourself and to others, and how your automatic
'trained flea" ways of responding show up in your thoughts or
conversations.
If you don't catch yourself in the middle of it, look back on the
conversations or moods that you have noticed were not the most
beneficial to your full self-expression.
What happened? How were you stopped or suppressed? Where did you
stop yourself? What stopped you? Was something said by someone else
that triggered your suppression? When was the first time in your
life that you noticed a similar situation? How old were you? What
were you doing? Did someone say something to you? How is it similar
to today? How is it not similar? Based on your age today, how long
have you been living from a suppressed way-of-being rather than
living into your full self-expression?
In taking on the exercise, where might you have now gained
freedom to be fully self-expressed where you may not have been
before? Do let me know what you find out practicing this
exercise.